How to\u00a0Compliment Others (4.5 Ways)\n

by Dean Lindsay (Author of The Progress Challenge and Cracking the Networking CODE)\n

\u201cEverybody likes a compliment.\u201d
\n— Abraham Lincoln\n

A sincere compliment is a great way to offer the promise of prestige.\u00a0 Sincere compliments cost us nothing yet can become priceless for both the giver and receiver.\u00a0 As Mark Twain wrote, \u201cI can live for two months on a good compliment.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0Also consider that compliments can be used as conversation starters when we add progress based open-ended questions that relate to the compliment.\n

It takes some confidence to notice good things about others and to tell them about it. Giving people a lift has the power of raising our confidence even further because when we start noticing good things about people, we often start noticing more good things about ourselves also.\u00a0 But be careful, compliments that are ill-timed or thought to be insincere are likely to have the opposite effect than intended.\u00a0 Here are four and a half quick tips:\u00a0\n

1.\u00a0 Practice sincerely complimenting others.\u00a0\n

Start by finding something, however small, to genuinely praise others for.\u00a0 The more specific the better because it shows the person we truly noticed them.\u00a0\n

2.\u00a0 Personalize the compliment.\n

Take the person\u2019s interests into account.\u00a0 When communicating with someone, be on the alert for traits they value in themselves.\u00a0 Personalized compliments can go a long way in offering prestige but it’s best not to use them to often on the same person for they might be considered fake.\n

3.\u00a0 Share Others\u2019 compliments.\n

No, I don\u2019t mean bragging about good stuff people have said about you.\u00a0 I mean share the good stuff you have heard about others.\u00a0 A weird thing about us humans is that often when we hear bad things we are quick to tell others, but when hear anything nice about somebody else, we often keep it to ourselves.\u00a0 Bad form humans.\u00a0 When we hear something nice about someone, we need to share it with the person being complimented.\u00a0 They are likely to feel prestige from hearing it, and a bit of that Progress lands right on us.\n

4.\u00a0 Imply the compliment.\n

Often, we assume more truth from things we figure out for ourselves, than from facts handed to us.\u00a0 Try letting the intended recipient use their inner \u2018Sherlock Holmes\u2019 by allowing them to deduce the compliment from your comments.\u00a0 By indirectly complimenting we offer the promise of prestige, while avoiding sounding like a flatterer.\u00a0 “Wow, you finished college in three years, it took me four and a half” might carry more weight than “You’re smarter and more focused than me”.\u00a0\n

4 \u00bd.\u00a0 Explain the compliment.\n

Instead of implying, try the opposite.\u00a0 Compliments can also become stronger when we share the why behind the compliment. \u201cThat color looks good on you because it matches your eyes.\u201d\n

\u201cIf people did not compliment one another there would be little society.\u201d\u00a0 — Marquis De Vauvenargues\n

Offer the Promise of Prestige.\n

Be Progress.\n”Movie All Is Inferno (2016)