Author, Business Keynote Speaker | Dean Lindsay

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How to Conquer the FEAR of Networking

an excerpt from Cracking the Networking CODE by Dean Lindsay

Questions we sometimes ask ourselves when considering networking:

What will people think when I walk across a room and approach them to start a conversation?

Will they think I am stupid, boring, pushy? 

How’s my breath? 

It can be intimidating to approach someone and start a conversation.  Ralph Waldo Emerson knew the way around this universal fear, but most of all he knew the way through it: “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.”  

Progress agents get all the butterflies in their stomach to fly in formation and then soar above their comfort zone to a new, more expansive comfort zone.  Don’t make networking more complicated than it needs to be.  Develop strong networking skills so you can make connections without being rattled and intimidated.  The more intimidated you are by the process, the less appealing you are in the process.

Emerson’s advice will help you overcome the fear of meeting new people.  Use Nike’s formula and Just Do It!  These new contacts may eventually become strategic partners, customers, employees, employers, or even best friends.  Remember, most people enjoy offering assistance, information, and advice.  No one is getting voted off the island at the end of the event. 

“You are the one who can stretch your own horizon.” — Rabbi Edgar F. Magnin

Zig Ziglar often uses a popular acronym for fear.   He says fear stands for:  False Evidence Appearing Real.   Right on, Zig. 

Really, do not be a Mumpsimus.  No, that is not misspelled and no, I didn’t call you a dirty word.  Well, maybe I did – sort of.  Mumpsimus (pronounced MUMP-si-mus) is a seldom-used word.   Mumpsimus means: 

A. a person who persists in a mistaken expression or practice. 

B. an erroneous practice, use of language, or belief that is obstinately adhered to. 

In other words, the unfortunate state of mumpsimus means pigheaded adherence to a notion or expression that is popular but obviously wrong.  Do not be a mumpsimus about networking.  It is not some bad, hard, or artificial experience.  Resist the popular notion that networking is all fake sincerity and pushy behavior.  That is just not so.

Networking is not about arm-twisting.  It is not trying to get someone to do something that does not make sense for them to do.  It is not scary old backslapping sales shenanigans.  The simple fact is, most people are cool and want to meet you.  You will not find Eeyore or Oscar the Grouch at most networking events. 

I do need to mention, though, that no matter how cool, giving, and funny you are, there are going to be some folks who just don’t get it.  They are not interested in anything or anybody, and are always bummed out.   

My quick advice is: Move on.  Do not let their flawed human thing rock you.  Really, who can honestly say they enjoy talking to a negative blowhard?  People like this expect the worst and that is exactly what they get. Somebody forgot to tell them that you create your own reality and if you expect bad stuff to happen, bad stuff happens.

You know the people I am talking about – the ones who look and act like they just ate a big steaming bowl of “ Catcher in the Rye.”  They’re irritable, easily agitated, restless types who love a good argument.  Chances are, they are not feeling too wonderful, either.  They have no personal curb appeal.

So what are the possible causes of soreheaditus?

Maybe their back is out of alignment.  That could make you a sourpuss.

Financial and personal problems can make someone a bellyacher. 

Hating your job can make you crabby. 

A bad haircut can undercut confidence.

A hangnail. 

Hunger. 

Perhaps it’s Monday.

Come to think of it, a lot of things can make people habitually irritable.

So how come more people are not walking around scowling and biting the heads off of bats?  (Maybe because bats are hard to catch?).  I’ll tell you the real reason.  It’s all in their attitude.  Those disgruntled people CHOOSE their bummed reaction to the world because they do not know how else to deal with it. 

They need a little Monty Python.  They need to “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”  Progress agents have discovered that changing the way they look at things makes life easier in all aspects.

Think of Oscar the Grouch types as just nice people who have not yet been taught how to cope with life’s stresses and challenging moments.  Taking responsibility for themselves and their choices has never occurred to them before.  Maybe they grew up in a dysfunctional family and had no suitable role models to show them more appropriate ways of responding.

Progress agents always set a good example for faultfinders to follow.  We adopt the “live and help prosper” philosophy, and we are not quick to make judgments.

So you can choose to tactfully walk away from a new contact who is letting off negative steam, or you can choose to stay a little while, lend a sympathetic ear, and try to guide the person to a new way of thinking.  Friendly words of wisdom shared at the appropriate moment might make a difference.  But be careful because uninvited advice is sometimes seen as a form of attack.

 Do not take responsibility for these people or take their Holden Caulfield impression personally (Holden is the hilariously agitated protagonist and narrator of the JD Salinger novel, The Catcher in the Rye). They are probably bummed at the whole wide world.  They may have been like this for most of their lives and they are probably not going to change just because you chatted with them for five to eight minutes at a business mixer.

 But most people are cool, nice, enjoyable, and are there to connect.  If they are not, they are making a far worse impression than you are.  Shrug it off.  Do not let these sad sacks curb your enthusiasm.  Have fun.  Enjoy the process.  Life is too short (for you and everyone else). 

Conquer the FEAR of Networking.

Be Progress.

More info on Cracking the Networking CODE by Dean Lindsay

Frankl Logotherapy Teachings for Business Progress # 3

by Dean Lindsay, from The Progress Challenge : Working and Winning in a World of Change

Link to Frankl logotherapy Teachings for Business Progress #1 & #2

Link to part one of Dr. Viktor Frankl, life of

Link to part two of Dr. Viktor Frankl, life of

Frankl Logotherapy Teachings for Business Progress # 3. 

Drive Actions by Understanding Goals and Strengths.

Gaining insight into a person’s reasons (especially our own) goes a long way in helping them progress and reach their full potential.  Frankl believed in endurance, but not just for the sake of survival.

He believed that all life is shot through with significance, and that this inherent meaningfulness should motivate humans to live and discover that meaning.  Frankl warned that some may mistake the surface rewards of materialism, affluence, or hedonism as the true purpose of life. 

Those who have suffered loss due to injustice (racial profiling, crime), circumstance (accidents, economy, acts of nature), or the inhumanity of fellow humans know that the search for meaning is not stopped by setbacks.  In many cases, as in Frankl’s, challenges and adversities serve to inspire and redirect a more determined search for meaning.

 “Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives.”
– Viktor Frankl

Great leaders understand the necessity of discovering what their followers are made of, what they’re “all about.”  Frankl firmly believed in the great potential of his fellow humans, and stressed the ability to use one’s inner resources to achieve personal goals and find personal truth. This principle applies equally to every organization.  Each member, no matter the responsibility or position, has unique strengths that can prove vital in fueling the progress of the organization.

What drives the people you hope to inspire to action?

What drives you?

Link to : The Original Thinker-Through – Interesting Frankl Facts

Uncoming Posts: BEST Dr. Viktor Frankl Quotes

“As friend, colleague and assistant to Dr. Viktor Frankl for over twenty years, I can confidently share with you that Dean Lindsay gets it!  His ability to integrate the inspirational theories of Dr. Viktor Frankl with contemporary business needs is extraordinary.  Dean’s application of Frankl’s concepts of “freedom of choice” and “the defiant power of the human spirit” to modern business/sales is powerfully motivating.  The Progress Challenge goes beyond telling us to “just do it” and, in a very readable way, tells us how to do it – or, in Dean’s words, how to be progress.  A must read for business success!”
 – Jay I. Levinson, Ph.D.
Former Special Assistant to Dr. Viktor Frankl

Be Progress.

More on Dean Lindsay

Dallas Sales Training with Dean Lindsay, Author of The Progress Challenge and Cracking the Networking CODE

All of Dean’s Dallas sales training programs are customized to fit the needs and challenges of participants.

Dallas Sales Training Expert Dean Lindsay, is recognized as a “Sales and Networking Guru” by the Dallas Business Journal.

Click for more information on booking / schedule for Dallas Sales Training with Dean Lindsay

Click to Watch Video Clips and info on Dean’s Dallas Sales Training “Be a BAM” program

Endorsements for Dean’s book The Progress Challenge : Working and Winning in a World of Change

“If you’re serious about the Sales profession and Sales leadership then this is the book for you.”
–  Dave Nostrand
Vice President, Sales – Eastern Region
Marriott International, Inc.

“Finally a meaningful book with a workable process for progress.”
– Gerhard Gschwandtner
Founder and Publisher
Selling Power Magazine

“The Progress Challenge is a much needed kick in the pants for all of us. What an enlightening book!”
– Ken Blanchard,
coauthor of The One Minute Manager®
and Leading at a Higher Level
 
“This book is your GPS for personal and professional progress.”
– Willis Turner
President/CEO
Sales & Marketing Executives International

Dallas Sales Training expert, Dean Lindsay’s Cracking the Networking CODE is Recommended Reading by the United Professional Sales Association and Profit magazine.

“Perhaps the most powerful way to leverage and multiply your talent and ability is by expanding your personal and business network. THIS BOOK SHOWS YOU HOW.”
– Brian Tracy, Author,
Getting Rich Your Own Way

Click for more information on booking / schedule for Dallas Sales Training with Dean Lindsay

Click to Watch Video Clips and info on Dean’s Dallas Sales Training “Be a BAM” program

Click for Info on the Diving for Referral Pearls – Dallas Sales Training Program

A BAM Dozen: 12 Solid Open-Ended Questions for becoming a Business Attraction Magnet

Link to Be a BAM! Blog Post

Link to:  Business Attraction Magnet Key # 1:  Become Buzzworthy

 Link to Business Attraction Magnet Key # 2.  Ask Progress-Based Open Ended Questions

Please find your own voice when asking these questions.  We must be truly interested in finding a way to help. 

Be a BAM Sales Training Program #1:  How did you get interested in your line of work?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 2.  If a journalist were to write about what’s been happening in your industry over the past six months, what might they write?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 3.   I connect with new people all the time; how would I know if someone qualified as a solid contact for you?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 4.  How would you define progress for you/your business?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 5.  What major shifts do you foresee in your industry? 

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 6.  Where do you see your greatest challenges?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 7.  Why do these challenges persist?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 8.  What difficulties will you face if you don’t meet these challenges?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 9.  What actions are you taking to overcome these challenges?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 10. What results are you expecting?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 11. Who is involved in the decision-making process?

Be a BAM Sales Training Program # 12.  If you could solve these challenges, what kind of progress would you make?

 Also, encourage prospects and clients to expand on their answers by asking:

            Would you tell me more about that?

            Could you please elaborate?

            Could you clarify…?

            How so?

            What did you mean when you said…?

Do not ask too many questions or ask them at a rocket-fire clip.  People should not feel they are being interrogated.  Being interrogated is neither attractive nor enjoyable.

insight from The Progress Challenge by Dean Lindsay and featured in the Be a BAM! Sales Training Program

Link to Be a BAM! Blog Post

Link to:  Business Attraction Magnet Key # 1:  Become Buzzworthy

 Link to Business Attraction Magnet Key # 2.  Ask Progress-Based Open Ended Questions

Link to Be a BAM! Blog Post

insight from The Progress Challenge by Dean Lindsay and featured in the Be a BAM! Sales Training Program

Business Attraction Magnets provide so much value, so much heat, and so much enthusiasm that customers are inspired to talk about them. A BAM is worthy of attention, worthy of the spotlight, worthy of wattage, and worthy of referrals. 

As Progress Agents, we must not only show enthusiasm for our work – we must HAVE enthusiasm for our work.   If we want prospects to get excited about our products and services, we need to have that excitement first.  Likewise, if we want others to believe in our products and services, we must believe in our products and services first. 

To win the prize, we must be the prize.  Enthusiasm shows in the way we hold ourselves and in the passion we have for our jobs and our lives.  If we want loyal customers and referrals (and we do), then we need to feel worthy of loyal customers and referrals.  I am sure you have sensed by now that, whenever possible, people do business with people they like.  Passion for our lives and belief in our work make us attractive and likable. They draw people to us. 

In sales, we have got to be on.  Have game.  Bring heat.  Same is true for customer-service professionals and those in leadership.  Buzz.  Buzz.

Next Up: Key #2 to Becoming a Business Attraction Magnet — Ask Progress-Based, Open-Ended Questions. 

Be Progress.

For info on the Be a BAM Sales Training Program Click here

 Be a BAM! - Become a Business Attraction Magnet!!

 - an excerpt from The Progress Challenge by Dean Lindsay and featured in the Progress Agents’ Be a BAM! Sales Training Program

The business of sales is the business of attraction.  We are attracted to products, services, ideas, and people that we trust can help us progress.  Everyone profits when sales professionals focus on being progress, and being progress turns sales professionals into Business Attraction Magnets. 

The great Dottie Walters, one of the founders of the National Speakers Association, shared with me many years ago that the word sales comes from the Scandinavian root word meaning to serve.  Soak that in…to serve. 

If we just made that little shift in our own thinking about that word sales, think of how many more people we could serve with our products, services, ideas, and contacts. (Not to mention our smiles and solid listening skills.)  To sell is to serve.  To serve is to Be Progress. 

The days of the “Surefire Closing Statement” and the “Glad-handing Slick Salesman” are long gone.  Today it is imperative for Progress Agents to truly get to know their prospects and help prospects get to know them. Selling is therefore a state of mind more than a series of steps.  It is a dance, a buzz, a willingness to be involved, to connect, to attract.  Those of us who make our careers selling are, by and large, outgoing, caring, and driven.  We want to help others progress.  We believe we can make a difference, that we can help.  Being progress puts wind in our sails and in our sales.

Becoming a Business Attraction Magnet is about TRUST.  The customer has a need, or a step they desire to take. They must trust we can meet that need and help them take that step.  Customers and prospects need to trust our belief in ourselves, in our companies, and in our products and services. 

Next up — The Seven Keys to Becoming a Business Attraction Magnet!

Link to Key # 1. Become Buzzworthy

Info on The Progress Agents’ Be a BAM! Sales Training Program

The Foreword for Dean Lindsay’s The Progress Challenge

Foreword by Julie Weber, Senior Director, People, Southwest Airlines Co.

Let me just get this out first:  The Progress Challenge is a great book.  It is fun to read and crammed full of thought-provoking, practical and motivating take-aways.  I recommend this book to HR professionals, business leaders, sales leaders, and anyone who is trying to not only navigate the world’s economy today, but to succeed in it.  With the Six Ps of Progress, Dean gives us all the incredible opportunity to be purposeful in creating progress, not just change, in our lives and work. 

If only I had read this book prior to the Tech Bubble burst in 2001.  While working at a software company, like many of my fellow HR professionals, I was doing my best to “lead change,”  to “manage change,” in an unprecedented time when high-technology companies dramatically went from such incredible highs on Wall Street to such devastating lows in a short period of time.  We were reeling from the emotional shock and uncertainty after the events of 9/11.  This book would not only have provided a new way of looking at change management, but also a more hopeful way of beginning to answer the question: “What now?” So here we are again in the midst of unprecedented economic times.  HR professionals are again faced with the challenge of managing our workforce in a shrinking economy.  The Progress Challenge is a must-read for all of us.  Only the businesses that are able to grow, gain market share, gain Customer loyalty, and gain Employee loyalty and engagement will survive when recessions occur.  That requires more than change management; it requires progress.   It requires committing to progress and it requires persistence.

I am so fortunate to be working for Southwest Airlines, a company that truly gets what taking care of Customers and Employees really means in any economy.  (For starters, the “C” in Customers and the “E” in Employees are capitalized deliberately.)  In describing the 6 P’s of Progress (I won’t give away too much!), Dean captures why Southwest Airlines Employees provide such incredible Customer Service.  We LUV what we do and our Company LUVS us!  We work very hard during the selection process to hire Employees with a natural desire to serve others.   At Southwest, we hire for attitude and train for skill (as needed).  Yeah, some skills are incredibly hard to train, but to train someone to have a great attitude and to enjoy their work, their Customers, and their fellow Employees is completely impossible.  The mission of Southwest Airlines is dedication to the highest quality of Customer Service delivered with a sense of warmth, friendliness, individual pride, and Company Spirit.  Try doing that with a lousy attitude!  Having a Fun-LUVing Attitude is not just part of our “core values,” it is a requirement of every Employee.   

What Dean explains in a witty and entertaining way is that our attitudes, our ability to endure and successfully emerge from the current recession, our shot at getting what we want out of this life, is up to each one of us.   I have always believed that “if it is meant to be, it is up to me.”  Dean explains why that is true and gives us the tools to make it happen!  We have to grab every minute of every day and create progress in our work and in our lives.  We own it.  I own it.  I will be progress.  This book is so timely. 

Thanks, Dean.

– Julie Weber, Senior Director, People

People & Leadership Development

Southwest Airlines Co.

 A Thoughtful Person is a Remembered Person.

Look for something to acknowledge people for.  Genuinely complimenting someone costs you nothing, but to the recipient, a heartfelt compliment and the feelings it generates cannot be bought at any price. Recognition, encouraging words, and pats on the back are all excellent ways of making positive impressions, especially if done in front of others.

Mother Teresa

Avoid general compliments as they may just seem like flattery, “sucking up.” Much more powerful is a comment about something positive that person has done: compliment on behavior or achievements.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” — Mother Teresa

A thoughtful person is a remembered person. Be generous of spirit. You will get back much more than what you put out. The end result of acknowledging and praising others is that you have given people reasons to speak well of you to others. Such word-of-mouth character endorsements are far more powerful than anything you could ever say about yourself.

It does not matter how successful a person is, or how good that person feels inside: it is always nice to know that others appreciate one’s personality, talent, uniqueness, attitude, or accomplishments. You can compliment someone about any one of hundreds of things. Just keep it real and don’t go overboard. Insincerity can be sensed.

Motivational Leadership Speaker Video of Dallas Based Speaker and Author, Dean Lindsay

Motivational Leadership Speaker Video Clip

Dean Lindsay – motivational leadership speaker and author of The Progress Challenge and Cracking the Networking CODE

“Dean Lindsay is truly one of the best and most insightful speakers out there. I have hired him, heard him and read his work. He is always top notch with profitable tips and strategies – plus he is fun to watch. Dean Lindsay rocks!“
– Paul Rosowski
Teknion
Regional Vice President – Central

Dean Lindsay Client List

“Thanks for speaking at our firm’s annual kick off meeting. It’s difficult to find energetic speakers that not only motivate but who also bring practical business ideas that our associates can use to grow personally and professionally. You hit the mark in all areas – Be Progress!”
– David R. Pasciak
Managing Partner
John Hancock Financial Network, West Michigan

“Dean Lindsay is one of the finest keynote professional speakers working today. Believe me. I see them all.”
– Dale Turner
Director of Speaker Review
International Speakers Bureau

Watch more Motivational Leadership Speaker Video

Contact Dean Lindsay – Dean@DeanLindsay.com

 Funny Customer Service Video Clip with Dean Lindsay

In tough economic times, Customer service IS the difference between success and failure.

Dean Lindsay’s customer service training programs includes insight from Dean Lindsay’s new book, The Progress Challenge : Working and Winning in a World of Change

“This is a terrific and timely book with a simple but powerful message.  With the right thinking and approach, we can make enormous progress in our organizations, with our families, and on our own goals and dreams. Dean’s book shows you how, and provides the inspiration and advice you need to stay on track.”
– Brad Cleveland
Senior Advisor and Former President / CEO
International Customer Management Institute

A Couple of Endorsements for Dean Lindsay, Author and Funny Customer Service Speaker

“Dean was TERRIFIC!! He made a real connection with my troops and gave us some great philosophy and tips for our busy season on both Customer Service and Phone Sales. He was a great kick-off to our extended hours busy season and I give him an A plus for his presentation.”
– Geri Barton
Director of Customer Service
World Kitchen LLC

“Dean, your talk to Indiana Farmers Mutual Insurance company was first rate. Your points on mending customer relationships were enlightening and your thoughts on attitude are very true. Thank you.”
– F. Neal Johnson, Chairman of the Board,
Indiana Farmers Mutual Insurance

Get more info on Author and Funny Customer Service Speaker, Dean Lindsay

email dean at: dean@DeanLindsay.com